Recovering from Stress Overload

This week, I want to share a bit of what's been going on behind the scenes in hopes that it will resonate with and perhaps even encourage you.

I believe we make most decisions from either fear or love. I also believe one my most loving decisions today is to be real about challenges we're all facing (based on countless conversations I've had recently), what these challenges look like in my own life, and some humble suggestions you may find helpful.

If I had to title this series (there will be a couple more of these) it would be something like "Recovering from Stress Overload and Creative Depletion." I know, so appealing that you can't wait to read, right? 🙄 But seriously, we're ALL dealing with unprecedented levels of stress (some of us better than others), and—judging from those countless conversations—many of us are also feeling vastly uncreative or uninspired.

This week I want to talk about Stress Overload because that felt like the first brick to fall for me. First there was the stress which then led to the creative depletion. I have a lot to say about the creativity too, and we'll chat about that in a future post, ok?

 
 

I don't know how stress shows up for you, but since childhood mine comes out in my body—specifically as raging eczema/dermatitis and a very unhappy gut in spite of being hyper-vigilant with my Celiac disease. And then it rolls into the mental junk—the monkey brain (I swear there's a full 3-ring circus in there), the inability to put two coherent thoughts together, and the exhaustion even after 8 hours of sleep.

Your stress may show up in dozens of different ways. You may suffer from insomnia and migraines or find yourself eating through your entire pantry, including the stale marshmallows from last summer. You may be angrier, weepier, or more worried than "normal." (As if there's any baseline for "normal" these days?!) Or you may feel utterly overwhelmed by the most routine tasks and want to sleep or watch Netflix ALL day long. We all have different responses, and we all generally look like we've got our stuff together from the outside, even when we feel like we're barely hanging on by a thread.

Given all that was going on in 2020, my stress level really started to escalate late that year even though I would've told you I was "fine." I'll spare you the gory details, but the eczema on my hands was out of control and every prescription only made it worse. I was allergic to what was supposed to cure it. It was itchy and painful and my doctor had zero answers. My hands finally healed after months of controlled, low-dose UV treatment—a last resort given my history of skin cancer. Picture a tanning bed just for your hands, kinda like a nail drying booth at the salon, twice a week for months. Then by late 2021 I was also losing my hair by the fist full, and suddenly it dawned on me that perhaps this was primarily stress related.

After my blood work came back as "normal," (I really hate that word) I mentioned my theory to my doctor and asked what she thought about me seeing a therapist. I was also kinda out of options, so why not? Her reply—"Given all that's going on in the world, I think everyone should be in therapy." And so it began.

Stress Recovery options that helped me

Therapy was just the first of many steps I took because there's rarely one magic bullet that will fix everything. Here's what Stress Recovery is looking like for me:

  1. I started seeing a psychologist to help with the head gunk and to listen better to my body (somatic awareness)—a new and very worthwhile venture for me.

  2. I became aware of how much I was holding my breath and gut and returned to more meditation, breath work, mindfulness, and prayer.

  3. I started wearing a Garmin Vivosmart 4 to track my body battery and monitor my stress levels and sleep cycles. (It's tiny and there's no monthly fee.)*

  4. I started participating in yoga-based movement classes and taking better care of my body (ie eating lunch). Tell me I'm not the only one who has trouble stopping midday to eat?

  5. I had several sessions with a somatic practitioner to release tension and understand where it's showing up in my body before it gets out of control.

  6. Also, my husband and friends have been amazingly supportive; I can't imagine life without them.

In the past, I've also taken medication for anxiety but it only gave me marginal benefits and unpleasant side effects. Because of that, medication wasn't part of the plan this time around, but it's extremely beneficial for LOTS of people, so please don't dismiss that option too. (It goes without saying, I'm not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, just compassionate support.)

What have I learned during this process?

It's been 6 months since the start of my Stress Recovery, and here are two of the many things I've learned:

  1. The stress will always be there, at least as far as I can tell. Just when things start to calm down, some breaking news story upends everything again or another personal crisis hits; this is part of our human experience. What changes is our capacity to deal with it, work through it, and stay healthy in spite of it. Some of my biggest stressors six months ago are manageable and new, harder ones have arisen.

  2. Our body knows. Even when our brain tries to convince us that we're "fine," our bodies hold and deteriorate under stress. We are wise to listen to the information they're giving us; there's so much scientific research to support this.

I'm so grateful to have tools that I didn't have a year ago. Yes, the eczema still flares occasionally and the dang brain monkeys love to do their circus act, but overall I feel calmer, more resilient, and more compassionate to myself and others.


Resources for you

Here are a few resources I really enjoyed that you might find helpful. If you geek out on the science stuff, you'll appreciate McBride and Kolber's books.

All of these authors also have podcast shows and/or guest episodes you can listen to. Balance also has a podcast called Well Balanced.

Back to that idea of making decisions from fear or love…

The fearful choice for me would be to keep this to myself so you don't think I've lost my sh*t or something. To pretend like everything's fine. And where does that get us? Nowhere. We're all struggling in different ways, and the sooner we can admit that in a safe space, the better for all of us. Some of us are doing better than we were two years ago and some are worse. I can't imagine what you or your loved ones are going through, and my inbox is always open at michelle@weletherfly.com if you need to reach out.

If you take away anything today, I hope you'll reach out for support if you need it.

I hope you know you're not alone.

I hope you see hope on the other side.

And if you're doing pretty good, I hope you'll offer your support to someone else who needs you.

In the words of George Eliot, "What do we live for, if not to make life less difficult for each other?" ❤️

May your decisions come from a place of love, not fear.

*This specific Garmin device was recommended in a workshop by Dr. Crystal Frazee, who I found through my membership in Racheal Cook's CEO Collective.**

**Full transparency: these are affiliate links, and I only recommend products or services I use and love.

business resources, behind the scenesMichelle Clayton